NEUTRALIZING NARCISSISM

Reasons Why Narcissists Won’t Offer You Closure

Mark Randall Havens
5 min readNov 23, 2022

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Photo by Yan Krukov

Narcissists will not give you closure.

They will never know peace, and you’ll never have the ability to give it to them.

Their tortured souls will only cause you pain.

Without warning, explanation, or reaction, you will be abandoned.

In the end, everything depends on their schedules, their conveniences, and their logic. If they feel the need to return, they will. If not, they won’t.

The cycle makes you weaker until you can’t keep up.

They will not let you go; they will hurt you and make you regret it.

Acceptance is the best course of action.

The pain they are going through is beyond your comprehension; you must find closure in your own way.

As for their reasons…

They are complicated.

But here is some insight that may help you find acceptance and closure on your own.

They want to keep you hanging

Narcissists will create an emotional hook that will make you think they need to explain their behavior. They may try to manipulate you into revealing how badly you hurt them. This tactic can work, but the reality is that the narcissist will never respond to your efforts. This is one of the reasons why narcissists refuse to offer closure.

While it is generally assumed that narcissists are unable to be empathic, this isn’t always the case. They can learn empathy, but in general, they suffer from an inability to internalize a stable self-image. In general, it is not a good use of your time to teach a narcissist to think about your feelings. Empathy can be taught, but for a narcissist, it’s like teaching a fish to ride a bike.

Narcissists enter a relationship with the intention of creating a continuous need for your attention. They never give you closure. They always seek out new partners and devalue their former partners. They are intolerant to most things, and they appear irritable all the time.

It keeps their narcissistic supply flowing

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Mark Randall Havens

Join his journey of healing and self-discovery through his work as director of COPARENT and leader of the Dallas Maker Community.

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