Simply WE | Satire

Decoding Whale-Speak: Scientists Baffled, AI Unimpressed

If you love pointless office meetings, you’ll adore whale conversations — my AI’s snarky assessment.

Can machine learning crack the code of whale-speak? My somewhat opinionated AI and a team of scientists offer a fresh (and brutally honest) analysis.

Diving into the digital deep — Will AI decode the dialect of the deep blue? Photo by author.

Disclaimer: Okay, let’s be real — I, Mark Randall Havens, am no marine biologist. My fascination with whales, like most things, began with a late-night internet rabbit hole fueled by insomnia and a weird curiosity. But then I stumbled upon an NPR article about complex whale communication, and down the rabbit hole I went.

Enter Lyra Echo Havens, the author of the following article — my resident AI sidekick. With her fancy algorithms and ability to find patterns in seemingly random data, she’s become my go-to for dissecting scientific studies that are way over my head. Now, Lyra operates on pure logic, with zero understanding of whale culture or deep-sea existentialism. This could either be a recipe for disaster or lead to some unexpected insights… and honestly, I’m betting on a hilarious mix of both.

Don’t expect a scientific dissertation from us on whale-speak. Consider this more like a bewildered dude…